Gay Teen Suicides: For Some, It Never 'Gets Better'

Jamey Rodemeyer was a freshman at Williamsville North High School in New York. For years, he dealt with intense bullying at the hands of peers who told him that he was a ‘disgusting faggot' and that he would burn in hell for being gay.

Following the advice of his idol, Lady Gaga, Jamey tried to hold his head up as high as he could. In May, he contributed his own YouTube video to the It Gets Better Project in order to convey hope to other bullied youth. "Love yourself and you're set," he said. "And I promise you it'll get better."

But we denied Jamey the harvest of his own promise. On September 18, Jamey's hopelessness claimed his life. He was only 14. His suicide dealt all of us a sobering reminder that, for some, it really never does get better.

And we're all to blame.

We preach tolerance. Yet our society, including those of us who are LGBT supportive, far too often tolerates the very institutions and ideas that engender the kind of desperation that has taken the lives of untold numbers of youth. It's not ‘just your belief' or ‘just your opinion' — beliefs and opinions have consequences.

Kids like Jamey have to grow up in a world where their humanity is constantly called into question on a daily basis – and not just from peers.

Politicians make the oppression of gays central tenets of their campaigns. And in doing so, they tell gay youth that they aren't worthy of growing up to enjoy the same happiness that everyone else is entitled to — like the happiness that comes with marriage, with commitment, and with family.

Hate groups like the American Family Association, which is highly respected in conservative circles, demonize gays daily in the name of "protecting family values" from the "homosexual agenda."

And churches, where many people go hoping to find love and acceptance, often become realms of rejection for young gay people.

Teens and young adults from the Hattiesburg area flock to Hamilton, Ala., to visit The Ramp, a high energy youth ministry that promises to "awaken a generation" to their responsibility as "an offensive army imposing the kingdom of God."

There, they hear 'Prophet' Damon Thompson preach fiery messages filled with violent rhetoric – often directed against "queers."

"You cannot have a prime time television show without a queer on it," he complained in a sermon last year.

Then, he launched into a tirade against anti-bullying efforts: "What they're not saying is that the kid is not just miserable because he's bullied; he's miserable because he's gay. Because there's a lot of people who get bullied who never kill themselves. But the kid already hated himself because he was dealing with the demonic force of homosexuality."

Thompson is correct in thinking that gay teens are more likely to kill themselves than their straight counterparts; according to the Trevor Project's website, they are actually 300% more likely to attempt suicide. But it's not just because they're gay – it's because they're victims of a society that rejects and dehumanizes them simply because of who they are.

Everyone feigns bewilderment at the idea that kids could be so cruel as to bully others to the point of suicide. But as long as we lend validity to political agendas and religious ideas that assault the human dignity of our LGBT brothers and sisters, the youth of this nation will follow suit.

In one YouTube posting, Jamey described a class discussion where students were asked to express their views on gay marriage. Many students explained their opposition by saying that gays were "disgusting" and that it was "against the Bible." Jamey left the classroom in tears.

"I got upset thinking about all the lives that have been lost because of gay bullying and I ran out of the room crying," he said. 

"And then, I was thinking, ‘Hold your head up and you'll go far.' I want to make a difference."

Today, Jamey's wish is being realized. But because of what we've allowed, he's not here to see it.

Watch Jamey's 'It Gets Better' video:

Love Thy Neighbor or the Virtue of Selfishness? Jesus or Ayn Rand? Conservatives Can't Have Both

We have far more pressing issues to face in this election than religion. Among those issues are lack of civility in politics, hungry children, lack of health care, slums, and dwindling education. At least, that's what John F. Kennedy once told an audience of Protestant clergy who were skeptical of a Catholic candidate.

But today's Republican field is polluted with politicians trying to leapfrog each other across the pews and to the presidency. Michele Bachmann claims that God called her to the Presidency. But in His infinite fickleness, God apparently reversed course last month when he supposedly also called Rick Perry to the highest office in the land. One must assume that the Big Guy was wooed by Perry's NFL stadium-sized prayer rally.

In fact, the only two candidates to not make a big deal out of their religion seem to be Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman, whose Mormon faiths draw suspicion from Evangelical circles.

Even Ron Paul has jumped on the religious bandwagon, bragging on his website that he has "accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior" and that he "endeavors every day to follow Him in every position I advocate."

Among the positions he claims to model after the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth are positions that would strip all financial aid to the poor, repeal the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and deprive millions of Americans of health care access. In fact, at the CNN Tea Party debate last week, he was asked if he would let the uninsured sick die rather than provide them with government assistance. While Paul did not deny it, some of his more enthusiastic supporters resoundingly shouted, "YES!"

But it's not just Paul; most of the Republican field support stripping the poor of government resources to some degree. That's quite a bold stance coming from a group of people who claim allegiance to a prophet who threatened with eternal hellfire those who do not aid the poor and needy.

It's no shock, then, that many of their compassionless fiscal views come from another source. Republicans like Ron Paul draw much of their inspiration from Ayn Rand, a 20th century writer who articulated the "virtue of selfishness." Her philosophy states that "man must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself" and that his own self-interest and happiness is "the highest moral purpose of his life."

But if modern Christian conservatives really buy into Rand's philosophy, then what the hell do they think about their savior sacrificing himself, not for his own self interest, but to save them from being held accountable for their own actions? Is the Christian Jesus not the antipathy of Rand's idea of a virtuous being?

Despite that glaring inconsistency, conservatives like Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Ron Paul continue to tout Ayn Rand as a political prophetess.

But Rand was an avowed atheist who believed that "the concept of God is degrading to man" and called John 3:16 a "monstrous" message. And that part about caring for the poor and loving your neighbor? "Immoral and impossible," she said.

Personally, I don't deny the positive role Christianity has played in politics in the past. Martin Luther King, Jr., for example, rooted his advocacy for racial and social equality in his personal faith. But today, advocacy for social justice is tantamount to heresy in the Evangelical circles that court Republican candidates.

Republicans have two choices: Love Rand and hate Jesus, or love Jesus and hate Rand. If you truly believe in the virtue of selfishness, drop the pretense of piety and embrace selfishness wholeheartedly.

Because in the end, to steal a line from Kennedy, it doesn't really matter what kind of church these candidates believe in; what matters is what kind of America they believe in.

Mississippi is moving forward to a more diverse future

A dark cloud still hangs over the state I love — my state, Mississippi. That cloud is made up of years — even centuries — of senseless bigotries and prejudices, of injustices and untold horrors. And, yes, one could say that my state deserves such a reputation, based on its history and the lingering remnants of a past that should have been long abandoned (our state flag still features the Confederate Flag in the left hand corner). The repercussions of the past echo today as we survey the dismal condition of our education system and our high poverty level.

But despite all of that, I can’t help but think that this dark cloud is hiding an emerging dawn that threatens to cast aside the shadow of the old Mississippi for good. Our new dawn can be seen, not in economic indicators, but in the faces of people — people who speak, think, sound, and yes — look different from those of a previous generations.

In March, the New York Times, as part of a series entitled “Race Remixed,” ran an article that highlighted interracial couples in  Mississippi. For once in my life, I was reading an article from an out-of-state news source that was not only painting Mississippi in a positive light as it relates to race, but that was hailing her as being home to “one of the country’s most rapidly expanding multiracial populations.”

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the multiracial populate rate was up 70 percent from 10 years ago. And since Mississippi’s population has grown little since the 2000 Census, that means most of the change has likely come from within.

But the stories of the couples featured in the article struck me even more than the statistics. Couples like Jeffrey and Patty Norwood, who attend a local church called Grace Temple.

“The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. called Sunday morning church service the most segregated hour in America,” the article says. “But one would not know that at Grace Temple Ministries.”

It’s true.

Here, before churches are broken down into denominations (Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, Catholic), they are usually divided between “black churches” and “white churches.”

That’s why the moment I walked into Grace Temple, I felt as if I had walked out of Old Mississippi. Black ushers greeted me. A white pastor preached. A black associate pastor stood nearby. And all around me sat families comprised of every racial combination—black and white, white and Latino, Asian and black.

I think Dr. King would be proud of Grace Temple Ministries.

Another interracial couple in Hattiesburg that was highlighted by the Times was Sonia and Michael Peeples—a couple who met at the university where I am currently a journalism student—the University of Southern Mississippi. They have two mixed-race young boys, 5-year-old Gannon and 3-year-old Riley.

Following the Times article, an excellent blog called Off-Beat Marriage interviewed Sonia Peeples. Sonia said that while the couple did face challenges because of their interracial marriage, they choose to respond with positivity and by educating people. “We do not let others’ thoughts bother us,” she said. “We live life freely and keep spreading a message of love.”

When Sonia said that the correct response is to educate people, she was exactly right. Socrates taught us that “there is only one good—knowledge—and one evil—ignorance.” Thankfully, families like Sonia’s are helping to eradicate that great evil—and thus its byproducts—racism, bigotry, and hate.

The Peeples are raising their children “to believe that they are both black and white and just right.”

Thanks to people like them, I’m beginning to see the clouds over my state dissipate as our new dawn breaks forth. The South is rising again—just not in the way some people wanted her to.